Thursday, December 31, 2009


Yes, that's right. I am at home blogging at 11:14 New Year's eve.

Well, I had several plans.
But, shit happens.
I'm not going to waste my time thinking about it.

I guess I have a lot to do. Making lists. And goals and such.

o fpm
y lmpe eju o jp;f pm yp upi ;olr yjsy s;;rm. oy
d s ;oyy;r noy tofovi;pid/ niy ejsyrbrt/ o hirdd o kidy jsbr yp dsu yjod s;; piy ;pif/ o ,rsm o lmpe o fofm
y trs;;u dsu oy. niy o lmpe ejsy o
, ytuomh yp dsu/

hahah, i actually said stuff. i just moved my hand one space to the left.
i should do that more often.

i don't even remember what i said. i'll probably blog again within the next, 40 minutes before the new year.

new decade

it's almost here.
i feel the rush coming on.
the time before,
the anticipation.
the new year/decade is hours away.

i know it'll be what i make of it. i hope it's good.
i really do. not just for me, but for everyone around me.
more for everybody. i'm trying to be less selfish. lol.

today starts something. or so i'd like to hope. and, it's not just, starting a new year for me. with a set date or not, i would've picked today to actually start.
to, finally, go somewhere.
or, at least that's what i'd like to think.
so, things i need to do today.

vaccuum the carpet and floor.
take a shower.
do my hair and makeup.
find two adorable outfits,
one for my job interview,
and another for new year's tonight.
i have like, 12 dollars left. maybe i'll buy a shirt. hahah.
and then new year's tonight.
oh boy. 15 hours and 59 minutes.
let's do this.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


that's pretty much what i fell like right now.
new year's eve is tomorrow. i know of plans i could have, but, my friend's haven't invited me yet.
i don't have any new years resolutions. because every year for the past 16 years any resolution that i've set is more like a wish on 11:11 that i just expect to happen without doing anything. so i'm not going to set resolutions or make wishes or dream anymore. i'm just going to do. because i'm wasting away my life.
I'm 16 and have done nothing that i can remember so far. If I really want to be remembered, I think the first person to remember me would have to be, well, me, right?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Friday, December 25, 2009

our own secret garden

i found this lovely photo on flickr.

can we disappear here for a while?

maybe you'll find

christmas was okay
i'm grateful

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

nobody reads my fucking blog

but i honest to god don't give three shits.

my toes are cold. It's almost Christmas.
I want to get shit faced on New Years.

Story of my life.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Where to run,

Christmas in 3 days. I still haven't done all of my Christmas shopping. It's 12:16 and I'm not out of bed. The sister's are sleeping, and the dogs are outside barking.
I guess it's time to go get shit done.

Another thing, I wish people respected my tweets. You know? Like, the people who read them, actually like reading my tweets, and they laugh. I don't know. I guess that's every twitterers dream, right?

Enough being miserable. Enough. I'm done.
(: Shut up, that was not a fake smile.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I love you

And I've missed you my dear blog.
I just got my computer back. Along with my lovely laptop.
Everything is gone though. Nothing is on here.
Okay, I can be okay with this. I will be okay with this.

Fall asleep with the windows open.

Sunday, December 13, 2009


Well the boy just pretty much dumped me. We weren't even together to begin with, but I guess we were in such a mature relationship that we can be like adults and be friends once you give me no reason to break it off...
HAHA. Or, we can fight for no reason, and you can end up talking shit about me like all of your previous relationships. Why couldn't you just know your subconscious mind from the beginning? Why didn't you just let me know I was the rebound girl. Why did I just have to be another solvable math problem? simple solution.
I do admit that was rather poetic.
Speaking of which, I wrote a short poem. That I'm proud of. Even though it's a little,...different than what I usually write.
If it kills me from the seventh floor, just drop me from the twenty-third. At least I'll fly before I die. At least you'll see my smiling face before you realize you can't take it back. Before the red burns your eyes.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

velvet feathers

back when your bones fascinated me.
when i'd feel your eyes on my back.
and i'd turn, and you'd disappear around the corner.
i'd chase after you, but i'd never catch you.
the picture i have of you though, taking shape, flying off.
i longed for the day, you'd be there when i looked behind me.
you're my protector. how so, when you're not there?
i then realize, you're there when i need you, without fail.
i've sadly never needed you, except right now.
and you're here. i can feel your eyes. i won't turn around, i refuse.
you step in front of me. the eyes of a raven are locked in mine.
do not fly away. the way your bones fascinate me.

Monday, November 23, 2009

my computer broke. t'is why i have not blogged in a very, very long time.
straight a's + a b.
the boy.
thanksgiving is in two days.
christmas is coming up.
i want another job/that sounds greedy, but i want to be a waitress.
i am so tired.
i love you blogger. just know i haven't left you.
i miss you. and twitter. not facebook,'s lame.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


I can not wait for Winter/Christmas Time. I wake up every morning and walk down stairs and think there's a Christmas tree. Or I look out the window expecting to see snow. I have daydreams about making snow angels. It's ridiculous. I can't wait.

Friday, October 16, 2009


I haven't blogged in a long time.
Here are some pictures from the Blink 182 concert I went to in Charlotte, North Carolina.

The last one is my all time favorite picture I took, and probably will EVER take. I had the time of my life. I was kind of sad that I didn't lose my voice. For some reason it's not really even possible for me too. I did once, but that was because I was pretty darn sick.


So, today in my math class, we had some guest speakers who went off to university's the year before, and talked to my class about the first year and how it's important to manage your time and things like that. I don't think I've ever paid that much attention to any guest speaker. Except in the 4th grade,...when they brought in the snakes and baby tiger's to pet and hold. The one younger one was looking at me the entire time, but it wasn't even that uncomfortable. I think he was the one looking for comfort for some reason. We started filming this show for our school magazine today. It was so much fun. Minus the inevitable awkwardness of the first time shooting it. But it was funny. And cool. I could get used to that. Even though we only have 2 more months until the 1st semester is over. I'll be sad then.

Somebody called me beautiful today. Or was it pretty? I don't remember, but it was the way he said it. It was so sweet. He just stopped in the hallway and started at my glasses, then my coat, then my shoes, and said I look very pretty. A lot of people said I looked pretty today, it's the glasses.
I'll start to wear them more often. I guess glasses make you confident or something.
I'm starting to write things down, and cross things off again. check check check check check. Well, really, cross cross cross cross cross. I'm hoping to get my school binders and supplies organized, and then finish all of my projects/homework this weekend and through to the next (the project's that is), and then start on getting a schedule worked out so that I know exactly what I'm doing everyday. I need to stop agreeing to last minute hang-outs! Oh, and I need to catch up on my sleep. Heeeeeeeh. (that was really supposed to be the sound of a sigh. anyways,...) thing's will work out. time time time.

Monday, October 5, 2009


You'll be seeing tons of pictures I'm sure.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Friday, September 25, 2009


has a very bad selection of mirrors.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Get shower, clean room, do math homework, practice viola, organize purse, send a letter to my grandma, dad, and cousin, find all those other lists i've made over the past 4 months and see how much I can cross off of them too. Not in that order.
Ready, GO!
Wait, let me take another nap.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


I'm watching it. <3

Monday, September 21, 2009

I need/want

I need to organize myself a bit more.
Start a routine.
Cash my checks.
Pay people back. Lol.
Save my money.
Do my homework. Lol².
To catch up on some reading.
Get some new cloths.

I'll see how much I get crossed off.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Friday, September 18, 2009

I love Sarah Solovay

She's actually one of the sweetest people I've ever talked to her. She's an amazing musician, artist, person - inside and out.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


we're finally moved. and we finally just got the internet hooked back up. i haven't missed much except the new sign in page on twitter! it's gorgeous. i love it. That's about it. I'm really stressed and kind of lonely, but that's alright. That's Life, as sung by Franky.

Friday, September 11, 2009


To all of the fire fighter's, police officer's, military personnel, workers, everyday people, and family of lost one's, you were all so brave that day, we lost so many precious lives that day, you are all hero's.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

so soon

so in the past week i've:
had tons of homework,
stayed up till 2 AM to finish it - woke up at 4:45.
packed my room.
painted my door.
had my heart broken-ish.
joined ROTC.
started orchestra.
and bought some adorable article's of clothing that include:
$40 jacket that i adore
$35 boots from target that i'm a tad bit disappointed with.
bought knee-high green-y colored socks that i love.
and got 2 pairs of adorable lacy leggings.

in the next few day's i will:
move into my new house.
get my ROTC uniform.
get over my broken heart.
start fresh.
do all of my homework.
get 8-9 hours of sleep if possible.
start to jog/run/exercise more.

okay. let's get to it.

Saturday, September 5, 2009



Saturday, Sunday, Monday.

It's now the weekend. Finally.
I went to my high school football game yesterday and was completely blown off by a certain boy. hmph/: I think I should just get over him. lol. anyways, so, it's Saturday, and I just spent my first waking hour, scrubbing carpet to get dog crap stains out. I'm going to work tomorrow, and then my mother said she'll take me shopping. at Macy's -_- which yes, I am looking forward to, I just have been wanting to go to Hong Kong Vintage for the past month. I barely lasted a week on cloths, and I never have great luck at Macy's. Blah. Then Monday, is destined to be a crappy one. Mom's working, and Dave's off, and we're off for Labor Day. Oh Boy. Things will work out, eventually.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


That's my schedule for the next 24 hours.
I need to get some extra sleep. I almost fell asleep in Apparel Design - again. Coffee?
Maybe I'll start to drink some. I doubt it. Tomorrow's Thursday, which is rather exciting. Trash day always has it's perks. Time to go find some cloths, hopefully I still have some. Oh, and then I need to find my M.I.A. calculator. And finish some Math homework. Maybe I'll take a bath and do it at the same time? I doubt that too.
My blogs are getting lame.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Sunday, August 30, 2009


so, there just so happens to be this really adorable vintage store that i'm hopefully - if i don't, i might jump out my window,...- going to tonight. that is, after I look at my new house, which we're getting the keys to TOMORROW! So much going on for the next month, it's crazy. I want a hair cut, but I basically can't get a new hair cut because if I do it's going to look like I have a big hole through my head. (Don't ask me how that is, it's just what my barber said,...) But anyways, I want to get my hair even lighter, and then get a new cut with it. Maybe at the end of September. Before the BLINK 182 CONCERT.

Saturday, August 29, 2009


i'm so sick right now. hmph.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009


My first day of high-school/college for you English folk/Sophomore year starts tomorrow.
I've got the teeth whitening strips in, my hair done, my outfit NOT picked out,
and my panic mode up to 99.
It's gonna be a good day.

Friday, August 21, 2009


Is almost over. Eeeeek.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


I just deleted my Myspace.
It last 3 years, 3 months, and 11 days.
or, 1,199 days.
or 28,776 hours.
1,726,561 minutes.
i didn't think i would ever have the guts to do that.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I need money so I can get these on DVD:

My So Called Life, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Gilmore Girls' reruns (always!), Greek, Make it or Break it, and Ten Things I Hate About You.

Psh,, I don't watch ABC Family a lot.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

the good ol' days

My best friend and I dug these up from her shed.

Friday, August 7, 2009


T-shirt, VIP Pass, & Poster. My Blink stuff got here the other day! So excited for the concert. Two months.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

mean girls

i might go buy it and watch it.

Monday, August 3, 2009


I wake up Saturday, go to work, leave for lunch break, pick up Jessica, drop her off at work, get pizza, go to Nancy's house, Go to the movie's with Nancy, watch The Orphan for the second time, had 13 year-old black girl's act like....13 year-old black girl's, Rob came over, Rob left, Stayed up talking till 6:45 AM with Nancy, Went to sleep, woke up at 12, got breakfast, got Barbie's out of the shed, dressed up Barbie's/watched Little Rascal's for the first time, got picked up, went to watch Harry Potter for the second time, Got crazy bread from Little Caesar's, went home, changed cloths, got picked up by Rob, made a change in plans and went to Tyler's house, Devii got drunk, I ate Raspberry Cobbler, got a text from my mom saying she's coming to pick us up, ran out of the house, then speed to Rob's house to beat my mom there, Devii left her phone at Tyler's, pretended to call Rob and ask for Devii's phone, Brooke gave me her backup phone, Devii and her drunk self almost blew our cover, went home, found out that Tyler's parents won't let Devii back to their house - they found the beer bottles, went to sleep.

And that was my amazing weekend.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Macaulay Culkin

I kind of wish he wasn't a drug addict.
I'd like to see him in some new movies.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


I'm binge-eating again and I still haven't lost the weight from the last binge-eating phase! The only thing different really between before and now, is that I have pudding. I did go on a drink-two-glasses-of-water-a-day-phase, but, that only lasted about 2 weeks, though, it did break my previous record of about,...3 days.
I finally got around to calling the insurance people about my phone - they sent me a new one, all is well. It's kind of sad now though; people knowing that my phone works, and nobody texting me. Lol. Story of my life.
So, speaking of life, it's freaking crazy right now! I believe we got a house, and that we might possibly, actually, maybe, 25% sure that I'm 50% sure, that we might, be moving this time. Done talking about that,...
My strawberry pudding tastes like cough medicine. It's kind of disappointing. ):

Sunday, July 26, 2009


I'm going to tune it out like it never happened.
I'm going to pretend this is all a joke.
it's funny, the way you hurt her.
the way you mess with her emotions.
the way, even though she'd never admit it, you're killing her.
she cries.
from frustration.
from agony.
and i must listen. i must listen, to try and heal her.
to lessen the pain.
i want her to be okay.
i want her to stay mine.
to stay with me, even though she doesn't know I'm here.
don't take her. don't tear her.
don't break her.
I'll hunt you, I'll hurt you,
I'll let you suffer.

Friday, July 24, 2009


I've been eating taco's for the past 4 days. I've also been spilling everything except water? Yeah, weird. I cleaned my room. like, legit cleaned. organized my junk drawer, clothes, everything. it's awesome. I'm happy. Pretzels are good.

Thursday, July 23, 2009


The Backstreet Boys just came out with their new single - Straight Through My Heart. I like,..stopped breathing for 5 minutes.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

enough's enough

time to get my act together. things that need to be completed within the next 3 months.
- finish my ninth grade year.
- find and move into a house.
- clean my room.
- get a new cell phone.
- call about my singing lessons.
- go to work.
- finish reading anna karenina, octavian nothing, born on a blue day, and 1984.
- plan jessika's birthday party/get her, her birthday presents.
- don't rip all of my hair out in the process.
- manage to squeeze hanging out with the friends who don't seem to realize that i need to complete all of the above in basically a negative amount of time.
- see the new harry potter.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Megan Fox

She's always had this small role in my life, I don't know why, or when it started, but I've always had this weird obsession with wanting to be like her. Not really the side that the public wants us to see, the sex-icon-esque side, but I've known she's had this more modest, but still sexy, confident look to her, and this just completely shows that I was right all along about her having that side. Not to mention that it adds to my strange love for her - girl crush, if you will.


I watched Slumdog Millionaire the other day - and I fell in love with it! It really was as good as everyone said. Then, I watched The Princess Bride for the 2,495,743,085th time, but it's one of those things that just can't get old. I'm so, so, so very excited to see Harry Potter. AH. I wanted to go to the midnight showing - of course, it was sold out. maybe tomorrow's midnight showing? I've been all jittery for the past 3 weeks waiting for it to come out, and now, it's officially been out for the past 32 minutes. I'm jealous of anyone who's sitting in the movie theatre watching it right now/: I also watched the first 20 minutes of The Jerk with Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters. She is absolutely amazing, and simply stunning. It's sad that only people my mothers age know about her really.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Thursday, July, 9 2009, 11:25 AM.

I went on a lake and on a boat for the first time a few weeks ago. I think I want to be a professional boat rider now. Yes, boat rider. Then I went to a 4th of July party, but it turns out, the party throwers parent's were also having a party. We were just a litttttle bit short on beverages.
Yesterday, I called and ordered from a Papa John's all by myself, for the first time. I'm just a tad bit proud!
I also realized yesterday that I have like,...THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON DAVID THEWLIS EVER!!!! (I normally hate putting several exclamation points after something, but it was completely necessary for that.)
So, I'm going to try this six week thing. "The Six-Week Plan to Flatten Your Belly and Firm Up Your Body for Life." because a) i need to get back into shape, and b) i have six weeks to finish the rest of my school. Wish me luck?

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Farrah Fawcett?

I kind of think I look like her in this picture - weird.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Song #2

21 Guns - Green Day

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Song #1

My favorite song for the past 3 months has been:
I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance

Saturday, June 20, 2009

teeth whitening.

So, I decided to start brushing my teeth with this gel that you're supposed to put into this little blue tooth-mold thing (that I decided I'd rather play with than actually use), and I'm starting to wonder if it's going to make much of a difference? It's basically the same thing, right? I think it might even work better than the blue thing. I'm trying it out for one week - the whole, brushing with the gel thing, hopefully it won't bleach my gums?

Friday, June 19, 2009


I got back from Myrtle Beach yesterday with my best friend Nancy! Good times, good times. I spent about two months worth of savings on a 6 day trip. But I had fun, AND, I sorta, kinda, can't wait to go again! I went basically everywhere in Myrtle Beach, including Ocean Blvd. (it just looks cooler in italics,) where I watched this absolutely amazing guy play guitar and sing.

Me, Chris Hutchins (I think that's how you spell his name), and Nancy.

It's time to buckle down and finish my school, get back into shape, move, and then spend some time in Pittsburgh with the family. This is going to be a fun summer - once I finish school. Haha.

So, the adventure for today includes the following: Devii being flung off the hood of a car at twenty-miles-per-hour, and possibly breaking her ankle. We'll find out tomorrow if it's really broken. It was pretty funny though. Anyways, that's what's been up. Going to sleep now, it's not that late, but it sure feels like it. Cleaning my room tomorrow, tons of laundry to do. I'll probably rearrange it again. Who knows. Time for sleep.
Oh! I dyed my hair frosted blonde-y/gold-y/brown-y. I like it. I don't have many good pictures though. Haha.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

12 days, 2 hours, and 27 minutes later,

- My phone officially died.
About three days ago, my sister threw her phone up in the air, and it landed directly on mine, cracking my screen. Then today, I dropped it in a glass of orange juice. Now it won't turn on.

Poor, poor phone. I feel bad for any electronic device that I own and have owned.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


Anything that's pocket-sized has tendency to be cute. Like my mini pocket dictionary and thesaurus set, ADORABLE! And the little notepads, oh, and the tiny mechanical pencils to write on the little notepads with. For some reason though, I think at one point, the tiny and adorable pocket-size things will get annoying. It's just a hunch.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Sunday, May 31, 2009

so yeah,

1. I got a phone - after an entire year of not having one.
2. I'm going to Myrtle Beach for the first time,
3. With my best friend for her birthday!
4. I'm going Bungee jumping for my 16th birthday this year.
5. Even though everything sucks, I'm pretty happy with how things are going.
6. I worked out for the first time, in literally, 11 months. I'm going to attempt to lose a little bit of the 'binge eating' weight that I gained before bikini-time on the beach!
Wish me Luck?

Thursday, May 28, 2009


Yesterday and a little bit into today was a GIRLS NIGHT! Wooo-hooo. I kind of feel like singing Hannah Montana,..I won't though. The Sister's and I walked the dogs early so we could go out to eat as a family (along with my mom,)! Anyways, the dog walk - oh, boy,..the dog walk.

We leave, and see rain clouds, then Jessika feels a rain drop, right then, we know we're in for it.

About 53 steps later, it starts pouring, and we get drenched. Not just drenched but, drenched. it was the kind of 'drenched' that when you get home and have to take off all your cloths, it takes about, 15 minutes to take your soaking-wet jeans off?

Then we saw a dead mole that drowned in a puddle/:

Finally, my mom gets home, and we decide to eat at this Thai/Japanese restaurant that she'd been wanting to eat at. It was great. Most of the food, and the conversations, that is.

Then we came home and watched Horton Hears a Who!

Before that though, Jessika, Devii, and I all took pictures for NOH8.


I promise I'll finish the list of school work that I wrote down for myself to complete last night, today. Today is a do-over day. My 1,373,950,534,128th do-over, but it's a do-over, so I'm doing-over. DO-OVER. I've fallen in love, as of, 45 seconds ago, with red pens. Weren't they banned from schools? I think they should make Scanners specifically for 3 dimensional objects, you know? Or else they turn out like this:

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I like to quote myself.

"What I'm saying is, is that you're either born into a world of black eye-shadow, or not."

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

purple eyeshadow,

is very photogenic.


Ten out of thirty things crossed off on the list I made yesterday and into the night, (of things to finally get done.) Just finished burning Il Divo onto a CD for a friend. They're gods I tell you, gods. Carlos Marin, my Latin Lover. Mmmm.

Monday, May 25, 2009


1:30 PM, Memorial Day.

I woke up about an hour and a half ago. By 'woke up' I mean that I actually got out of bed, because I woke up about 14 times before then, but fell back asleep. It's Memorial Day and also list-making-day for me. I should do something respectful then, right? Maybe I'll try not to cuss for the next 24 hours to honor those we're remembering this Memorial Day,..yea. I haven't done anything for the past 10 months. Maybe I'll start today? I dread Monday's though. Maybe I'll switch laundry-day from Friday's to Monday's so that I have something to look forward to. I also found my "LIFE: Remembering Audrey - 15 Years Later" book, and scanned that, (with my semi-new printer/fax/scanner/copy machine, that I've fallen in love with.) She's absolutely gorgeous. I think she kind of looks like my grandmother - younger grandmother of course.